![]() ![]() You might notice that open ended questions are the mainstay of courtroom lawyers. These so called ‘open door’ questions include: Open door questionsĪnother technique is to utilise questions that allow the speaker to continue elucidating their ideas. Even when you’re ‘wrong’ you’re still on the right path to understanding what the other person is communicating. ![]() Clarify: ‘Yes, but I also think these other things…’.Agree: ‘Yes, that’s exactly what I mean’.If you do this, the speaker has one of three options: Is… (repeat or rephrase) what you mean?.You might think ‘but what if they finish talking and I have nothing to say?’ If you are really listening, then you are able to restate what the speaker said.Ī great way to show you’ve been listening and are seeking further clarity is through simple questions such as: Active Listening is about continuing the conversation while still remaining present. The challenge is we’re often preparing for what we’re going to say next. Clarify – Re-state, rephrase and ask open-ended questions.ĭuring a conversation, we’re often in a state of ‘When’s it my turn to talk?’ Turn-taking is the way humans often communicate.Look beyond the words – Listen for what is and isn’t actually being said.Take notes if that helps you keep focused. Focus – Imagine that someone really important to you is speaking.What they’re saying isn’t always what they mean. This is just a mild example, but it points to why we need to pay attention when people speak. Right away, by interpreting tone, you understand that the person feels the opposite of excited. Imagine the tone of that teenager who’s been to the dentist dozens of times speaking those words. A computer might take that to mean the person is excited. They say “Yay, just what I always wanted to do”. Think about a teenager lounging around on the sofa texting friends and you announce that it’s time to go to the dentist. Seven percent! That means 93 percent of communication is through other means - body language, facial expressions, tone, pitch and volume. ![]() It is estimated that only seven percent of what people communicate is through words. How much do people communicate with words? The simple details are often the ones we miss when we’re not actively listening. The reality is that most people are so heavily focused on the detail, that they miss this critical point in the introduction. Therefore the bus driver’s age is whatever your age is. (There was a mention of 40 in there somewhere, wasn’t there?) Many will assume the bus driver is a man. The person carrying the bag gets off the bus.īefore I reveal the crux – and without reading over any of the above again – what is your answer? Do you know how old the bus driver is? In my experience, some people will say 40. Stop five, three elderly people get on the bus. Stop three, two people get on one person is carrying a bag. One person has a red hat one person is elderly. This is the route and the passenger details. You’re a bus driver with a 40-seater bus and five stops. You can take notes if you like, but you don’t have to. "I’ll be asking you questions about what you’re about to hear. Here’s a listening exercise to try with your team.Īllow everyone to have a pen and paper handy, and then have someone read out this script: But those wandering patterns don’t help you understand what the other person is saying. They have time to wander, make other plans, form a counter argument. We can take in a lot more information than we’re being supplied. Our listening capacity is 400-450 words per minute. Studies vary, but the average person speaks 150-200 words per minute. It can end up like two people yelling into the wind. Oftentimes they won’t listen to you either. What happens when you don’t listen to others? Conversations are reciprocal. It’s wonderful to have ideas and solutions in your head, but it’s crucial to listen and really try to understand what others have to say. Often people are so busy trying to get their own opinions, ideas and points across that they fail to hear their colleagues’ ideas. What does this mean? This is another way of saying ‘Seek first to understand, then to be understood’. One of the first points on our list was ‘Listen to people and maybe they’ll listen to you’. Essentially the agreement creates the norms of what is expected, in the specific context of that team. It sets the ground rules on what is acceptable or expected behaviour, making it safe for everyone to participate. We wrote down our expectations of each other in the workplace and we used these to create some guiding principles to follow. Last year, the team at Luminary embarked on a mission to come together and figure out how we wanted to work as a team. ![]()
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